


because two and one is greater than none

by merlivy26



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25970743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlivy26/pseuds/merlivy26
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	because two and one is greater than none

Trixie could never fully understand Katya. The way Katya’s brain worked has always been a mystery to her, Trixie’s just seemed to work in some completely different way. Sometimes Trixie felt like she finally grasped the essence of her friend, but the realization would be gone like a flashlight of a passing by car in the darkness of the night. Katya was complicated yet so simple, really loud yet unbearably quiet, touchy yet distant. She was all of it in general but none of it in the moment. Sometimes Trixie struggled to tell Katya’s mood, no matter how much she tried to learn all of the signs. She was barely ever confident in knowing how Katya felt or what she was actually thinking about, though she had never had a single doubt about their friendship.

Trixie would (secretly, of course) go out of her way to make Katya smile, and even better, laugh. She made it look effortlessly, but it took a lot of effort to hide how delighted the sound of Katya’s laugh made her feel. It almost felt like an addiction: while Katya was hooked on actual drugs, Trixie was riding high on her friend’s happiness. Whether Katya was around it felt safe, because though Katya was unpredictable creature, she was a predictably good and selfless friend. She was giving and giving and never asking for anything back when in need. Good thing Trixie learned to feel it when Katya needed her, it was almost like a sixth sense. Though still she could never say if Katya needed her for real or Trixie herself wanted to be there for her, desperately trying to pay her back for all the moments Katya supported her. Trixie never had a closer friend than Katya. They would not only share beds and kiss on the lips from time to time, but also tell each other their deepest, darkest secrets. Thanks to Katya, Trixie learned how to accept people the way they are, without trying to change them. Thanks to Trixie, Katya learned to love someone the way she never knew she could. She never actually admitted it. But Katya did say Trixie was her favorite person, and Trixie said Katya was her trophy from Drag Race. She hasn’t had a chance to talk about it again since that interview, but even after winning All Stars 3 which meant taking home the crown and those $ 100 000, Trixie’s true victory was in meeting Katya.

They could never tell why they clicked so well at the first place. They both had their assumptions. Trixie said that she looked crazy and was normal while Katya looked normal but happened to actually be crazy. Katya agreed mostly. She had her own idea though. She thought Trixie might have been her spiritual guide, her soulmate sent on her way by the universe to keep her alive for a little longer. That was a selfish thing to believe in and also a little embarrassing, so she never mentioned it in public. Maybe she told Trixie once or twice, but only when Trixie was hammered and couldn’t remember it after all. In the end of the day, they both were just beyond happy about that «click» and reasons never mattered that much anyway.

Katya loved calling Trixie - Tracy, in and out of drag, for Trixie it felt more natural to call Katya by her boy-name, so the minute Katya was out of drag she was Brian, sometimes Trixie would accidentally call her Brian while in drag also. She secretly liked calling Katya by her own name, she liked how her name finally seemed to mean something, like it became more important now when she knew they shared it.

Katya had no idea why Trixie never left her, at least career-wise. She could never be the one to rely on, never the one to trust with something connected to money, never the one who could be predicted easily. Katya was unstable, while Trixie, on the other hand, was the most stable person she’s ever met. And her stableness was enough for the both of them. Trixie never minded to share and Katya couldn’t be more grateful. Trixie cried the night Katya was all upset and told her she would be better off without her. Because Trixie knew she wouldn’t be so clearly, she just needed Katya to know it too. The «Moving parts» scene when she sat in front of the mirror and cried softly while she was putting her makeup on, commenting on the way she felt about Katya and their work together: «The point isn’t about whether I can continue with my career without her. It has never been the point. I didn’t like being on my own as much as I liked being friends with her. It was never about getting famous enough so that you can survive on your own. It was like I preferred surviving with her». - that one was shot entirely just for Katya to see it, and hopefully, comprehend completely. And Katya did. She never told Trixie she would be better off without her anymore. She still had no idea why that wasn’t true, but she decided to trust Trixie with no questions asked.

Katya wanted to fuck Trixie, once or twice. Actually, a lot of times. But she knew better than to do this, she knew better than to ruin the bond they had just for a fuck. Trixie could never do sex without relationships. At least not with someone she loved as much as she loved Katya. And Katya didn’t do relationships. At least not with someone she loved as much as she loved Trixie. So sex was off the table, but it was okay as long as they had that mutual love and respect for each other.

There were a lot of things Trixie liked about Katya. She liked her blue eyes, her blinding-bright smile and her newly-done tattoos (she was «so happy Katya has them»). Trixie liked how smart and wise Katya actually was, how creative she was, how she could make the most fucked-up, scary things sound funny. Trixie liked how Katya would grab her palm, her knee, her shoulder, her anything basically while laughing at her jokes way too loudly. Trixie liked how calming Katya’s voice was in the dark room after the rough night Trixie had, how warm and genuine her embrace was and how strong she could be in order to help drunk Trixie to her bed. Trixie liked the way Katya looked at her with loving tenderness sometimes and thought that Trixie wouldn’t notice. Trixie just liked Katya in general, a lot.

There were just as many things (if not more) that Katya liked about Trixie. She liked her soft lips, her long fingers and her thighs. Katya liked how ambitious and confident, how effortlessly funny and ridiculously talented she was. Katya liked the way she let her grab her all the time but never grabbed back, because she respected her needs and always did her best to give her space. Katya liked the way Trixie’s eyes light up when she would have another «amazing idea», the way Trixie’s voice would shake a little during emotional lyrics and the way she would cry with real-ass tears during a dumb (just from Katya’s point of view, obviously) melodramatic movie. Katya liked how Trixie was capable of shutting all the annoying voices in her head and making her worries and insecurities become quite small and remote. Katya liked how defensive Trixie would get about her sometimes, even when not necessary. Katya just liked Trixie in general, so much.

When they met on season 7, they couldn’t possibly imagine all of this would happen. All ups and downs they would share, all of the moments that led to their friendship flourishing more and more, all of the moments that were set to ruin their relationship but surprisingly didn’t. They often heard their friendship being called the best one in RuPaul’s Drag Race herstory. Well, they agreed.


End file.
